Easter photos

Ethan is 5 years, 3 mo; Joshua is 2 years, 6 mo; Elijah is 8 mo. 

Questions to ask your family members

A few years ago, I interviewed my dad. I perused several books designed to elicit memories from older family members. I wrote down many of the questions and adapted some, and added some others specific to my family. It took several sessions to get through most of these questions with my dad. Some interviews were in person, others were over the phone. I recorded our conversations and transcribed them, which yielded a 24-page single-spaced autobiography. I hope these questions can be a useful start for interviewing your own family members.

About my mom and dad
My father’s occupation was…
He served his country in…
What I loved most about my father was…
My father was strict about…
My father loved to…
My mother’s occupation was…
What I loved most about my mother was…
My mother was strict about…
My mother loved to…

As a child
As a student, I…
My ambition was…
My neighborhood was special because…
I was taught to drive by…
My first car was…
The car that I dreamed of having was…
I worried most about…
My happiest memory was…
My favorite game was…
My favorite book was…
My favorite singer was…
My favorite radio broadcast was…
My best friend was…
My favorite subject in school was…
My pet…
My favorite food was…
In my spare time I…
I spent summers…
I once got into trouble for…
I got spending money by…
I spent my money on…
A postage stamp cost…
A movie cost…
A gallon of gas cost… 

As a young adult
I started working at…
My responsibilities at work were…
What I remember most about that first job is…
What I didn’t like at that job was…
On weekends…
I first started dating…
My first love was… 

Marriage
I met my significant other…
I liked him/her because…
He/She liked me because…
When we dated, we went to…
My parents thought he/she was…
Her/His parents thought I was…
I/he/she proposed by…
We were married at…
My best man/bridesmaid was…
What I remember most about our wedding day was…
After we were married, we traveled to…
During the first year of marriage, I loved…
During the first year of marriage, I struggled with…
Around the house, I liked to…
When we took trips, we liked to…
As a husband/wife, I tried to be…
My fondest memory of him/her is…
My favorite home-cooked meal was… 

Children
When we were expecting our child, I felt…
What I remember most about the delivery was…
When he/she was born, I felt…
Becoming a mother/father changed my perspective about…
We chose the name _____ because…
Our child/children went to school at…
As a father/mother, I tried to…
I was strict about…
He/she was strict about…
I was very proud that…
I was worried about… 

Holidays
We had a holiday tradition of…
The special foods we had for holidays were…
My favorite holiday memory with the family is…
For Thanksgiving, we usually…
My favorite Thanksgiving memory with the family is… 
The special foods we had for Halloween were…
For Halloween, I remember that our child/children dressed as… 

Travel
My first trip on a plane was to…
What I remember most about that trip is…
The foreign countries I have visited are…
The places I would still love to see are…
My favorite vacation spot in the world is…
I like it because… 

Work
I began working at…
I began working there at the age of…
I began working there because…
What I enjoyed about working was…
What I didn’t enjoy about working was…
One of the biggest honors I had at work was…
I had the opportunity to move to [town] because…
I took the opportunity to move because…
What I missed most about our previous town was…
What I liked best about living in the new town was…
What I didn’t like about living in the new town was…
When I planned to retire, I thought I would settle down in…
I thought I would be busy with…
I actually retired at the age of…
When I retired, I found myself feeling…
I found myself doing… 

Money
A financial risk that worked was…
One that failed was…
The best money deal I ever made was…
When it comes to borrowing, I believe…
When it comes to spending, I believe…
When it comes to saving, I believe…
My attitude about money in general is…

Thoughts on society
Since I was a child, they have invented…
When man landed on the moon, I was…
When President Kennedy was shot, I was…
A time saver my father never had was…
A man’s responsibilities are different today because…
A woman’s responsibilities are different today because…
Movies are different today because…
Opportunities are different today because…
Dating for young people is different today because…
I still like the old fashioned way of…
Life is different for youth today because…
I think the younger generation doesn’t appreciate…
I think the younger generation is wiser about…

More introspective
A philosophy I’ve always lived by is…
My religious beliefs are…
I used to feel very strongly about…
I’ve changed my mind and now I think…
Men I admire are…
Women I admire are…
People who influenced me the most are… because…
I was always proud of the time I…
I always regretted that I didn’t…
As a friend I try to…
If I had my life to live over, I would…
One of the best things about growing older is…
The most precious thing in the world to me is…
My hope for the future would be…
If I could tell my grandchildren one thing about me, I’d like it to be…
A simple statement that sums up my attitude about life is…
My deepest values are…

Today’s favorites

My favorite ­­­­­­­­_______________ is...

• hobby
• exercise
• book
• TV program
• song
• movie
• actor
• actress
• car
• place to live
• holiday
• snack food
• joke

A book I strongly recommend…
The magazine I read most frequently…
My favorite time of day is…
The car I drive now…
The best car I ever had…
The color I like to wear is…
My strangest possession is…
If my house was burning and I could rescue only three things…
My most spiritual moment…
My opinion about the right to have an abortion is…
My opinion about the right to own guns is…
My opinion about the welfare system is…
My opinion about the death penalty is…
My opinion about the rights and services for illegal immigrants is…
Politically, I am (liberal, moderate, conservative)
My mother often said…
My father often said…
A friend I miss the most…
My three best qualities are…
My three worst qualities are…
I am often complimented for…
I like to cook…
At my funeral, I want people to remember me as…
I was absolutely happy when…
My greatest fear is…
I am most comfortable…
My friends tend to be…
A type of person I do not get along with is…
My current philosophy is…
My biggest obstacle right now…
The most important thing in life is…
A piece of wisdom I would pass on to a child is…
A question I would like to be asked is…
My answer to this question would be…
I bought our first house…
My most frightening experience is…
The best public speaker is…
I was impressed by him/her because…
My opinion of Martin Luther King Jr. is…
I would still like to learn…
I would still like to… (do)…
When I first moved away from home…
The cause that has been important for me is…
To maintain a healthy marriage, a husband and wife should…
The changes I would like to see in my life in the next ten years are…
The changes I would like to see in the world in the next ten years are…

Joshua

I LOVE this photo. I think it captures Joshua's personality, so sweet, and a little shy.

Roseli and Elijah

 
 
 

Glamor Shots

I took these pictures in the bathroom this evening. They remind me of Glamor Shots (Are they still around?) 
 

On my mind

I’m euphoric. I am so, so happy about Obama’s inauguration. To paraphrase a woman I heard on the radio, I am in love with that man. In love.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the value of writing, of keeping a journal as a way to clarify thought and as a reflective practice. I am a little frustrated that there is not more opportunity to reflect through writing. Being a graduate student is busy enough, but having a family and the demands that come from being a husband, a father, and just managing our home and other temporal needs really places writing a bit lower on my list of priorities than when I was single. Of course, a good deal of what I wrote about when I was single was how I wanted a family!

I’ve also been thinking about how I manage my time specifically related to school work. I have this annoying practice of working based on how much time I have rather than how much work I have to do. For example, if I have five hours to write a paper, I’ll take five hours to write it. If I have one hour, I’ll get it done in one hour. I am trying to focus this semester on finishing things rather than doing things. I have a couple big papers due at the end of this semester that I would love to have done well before they are due, rather than minutes before they are due, as happened last semester. I find that in graduate school I probably learn more about how to manage time and how to work with others more than I learn about the content of what I am studying (process over content… fellow therapists will get that).

On the home front (what an odd phrase, rooted in the language of war!), Ethan is having his 5th birthday party on Saturday. Roseli’s throwing him a pirate party. We’ve (meaning mostly Roseli and Ethan) have been immersing ourselves in all things pirate for the past three weeks. I think this was inspired by my Halloween costume. I was a pirate at the suggestion of one of my classmates.

Gratitude Contextualized

Yesterday after our Thanksgiving feast, I went with Ethan and Joshua as they rode their tricycles to the nearby school playground. Ethan usually likes to be the leader when riding his tricycle, so I was surprised that he paused to the edge of the sidewalk and let Joshua and I go ahead of him. Ethan asked, “Are you thankful that I let you go first?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Good, because on Thanksgiving, you’re supposed to be thankful when someone does something nice to you.”

Soon afterward, Ethan was riding up front again. I decided to overtake him, so I pushed Joshua on his tricycle with a little more vigor and we soon usurped Ethan's leader status. “Dad!” Ethan protested, predictably.

I turned my neck around to look at him and said, “Thanks!” We both laughed

Home Studio Family Pics

First Studio Photo Shoot

I got a studio flash setup and put up some butcher paper. Joshua was in a good mood this morning, so he became the subject for my first studio photo shoot. I've always been against "studio photography" because it seems that people appear so stiff and unnatural in many studio photos. But I'm kind of liking this. I can see now that I'd like to add some back lighting for a whiter background. More to come!

New Lens

I received my new lens in the mail today. It's a Canon 55mm f/1.4 for portraits. I've been daydreaming of the pictures I'll take with this lens. I love the shallow depth of focus. This is Roseli, telling Ethan a story while brushing his teeth (see below). Isn't she beautiful?

Narrative Intelligence

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about stories. Stories are powerful. Stories are memorable. They affect us emotionally, they maintain our interest, and they are passed from generation to generation. As someone who is passionate about recording and preserving our family history, I want to be better about telling stories.

Roseli is a wonderful storyteller. She’s truly gifted. She possesses what some have identified as narrative intelligence, meaning she thinks in story form. She loves movies, for example. Or she’ll often ask when I get off the phone, “What did she say?” Or, “Why were you saying….” I think it bugs her to hear only one side of the conversation, because it’s only half the story, so I sometimes use the speakerphone so that she won’t miss a thing.

Today, she heard Joshua whine, but she couldn’t see him. She asked me, “What’s going on?” I told her exactly what I witnessed, in detail. This feels unnatural for me, but I know that Roseli craves the detail. She said, “Wow, I’m really impressed. That was so detailed that I could visualize what you were saying.”

Ethan has clearly inherited Roseli’s story gene. Every time we brush his teeth, he says, “Count me a story about…” and he tells us who the main characters should be. Today, they were Sharkboy and Lavagirl. No story, no teeth brushing. He’s got us trained.

I do NOT possess narrative intelligence as Roseli does. I studied journalism as an undergraduate, and journalists are interested in getting the information accurate. At least, I was. But a catalog of events does not a good story make. It’s too messy. Even when the story is about something purportedly true, storytelling requires exaggeration, omission, and sometimes pure fabrication. And yet, a good story can be more valuable, more memorable, and yes, more truthful than the cold, hard facts.

Old is Beautiful

Fall is here! I love the fall. It means that Halloween’s just around the corner.

As I was walking this morning, I noticed a leaf, lying on the ground, and I picked it up, struck by its ugliness. It was asymmetrical, generally rusty in color, but with some dark green and some other dark splotches. It had a little hole in it, and it was just a little dirty all over. But I wiped the dirt off and studied it more closely. Its lack of symmetry was normal for the type of tree it came from. Then I was amazed by the variety of colors in this one leaf. And I guess there's something charming even about the little hole in the middle. It shows that the leaf went through something in life - maybe what used to fill the hole was used to fill some little worm. People are much the same as this leaf.

There is beauty in our lack of perfection, in our flaws. I love the signs of having lived - of old age! Wrinkles! Gray hair! I will wear them with honor. Why should the changing leaves, or the twisted, knotted courses of an old tree trunk receive all the admiration? Are not the graying hair and the jutting veins of some aging person's leg just as beautiful? But if you find no physical beauty in aging, consider the experiences, the knowledge, and the wisdom of the aged. True, youth is beautiful, but aging has its own beauty as well.

Two!

Joshua is two years old today.

As we were eating lunch, Roseli touched Joshua’s arms and proclaimed, “Two! Two arms!” Then his legs, “Two! Two legs!” Then his ears, “Two! Two ears!”

Ethan piped in and said, “Two! Two halves of the brain!”

Bittersweet

Ethan started preschool today. I have mixed feelings about it. He enjoyed it, and he’ll have lots of new experiences there. The other major benefit is that it gives Roseli one less child to worry about for a few hours.

But I also feel somewhat guilty to have someone else take care of him, but I’m not sure why.

When I was in early elementary school, there was one mom who came in regularly to help. I think even then I thought that was neat, and I want to spend time at my children’s school. I asked the two preschool teachers if that would be okay, and they said it would. I came to pick him up early so that I could get to school on time, and they were making little creatures with clay, colored feathers, pipe cleaners, and beady eyes. I love that stuff, so it would be fun to play, too! Ethan is so sweet, and this is such a special time in his life that I want to savor it, if I can.





















Ethan in front of his new preschool, Small Wonders.

When I got home, Joshua was sitting in a box, reading a book.

Open Eyes

Lest you think Elijah sleeps all the time (he does), here's a rare moment that he's not only awake, but involuntarily contorting his face into something resembling a smile. The ephemeral made permanent through photography.

Our three sons...

I just wanted to throw these photos up of Ethan, Joshua, and Elijah.

Ethan John Zimmerman, 4 years, 8 months; Ames, Iowa

Joshua Lawrence Zimmerman, 1 year, 11 months; Ames, Iowa

Elijah Clark Zimmerman, 15 days; Ames, Iowa

Elijah is 1 week old

Elijah, doing what he does best. I find myself calling him Joshua on accident. I never called Joshua by his brother's name, Ethan. Joshua and Elijah sound so similar. Both are Biblical names, and each have three syllables, each have a fricative consonants in the middle, and each end in the sound "-ah." I have to really think before I say his name.

Elijah, Day 3

The walls of Mercy Medical Center in Des Moines are covered with huge, gorgeous photographs of newborns who graced the hospital's nursery. I was inspired and took this photo today. I need to look into getting an external flash!

Elijah Clark Zimmerman

Elijah Clark Zimmerman was born today (August 22, 2008) at 9:39 a.m. in Des Moines, Iowa.
Weight: 8 lbs. 10 oz.
Length: 21.5 in.

These photos were taken about 4 hours after he was born. Roseli's doing great!

Roseli's Stories

Ethan Plays Politics (4:24)

Paradox (1:59)

Grapes of Wrath (2:03)

Star Spangled Banner (3:43)

How Are Babies Made? (8:39)

Joshua's Adventures (3:23)

Joshua and Ethan with dad

Joshua's 1st Birthday

Click To Play

Gail

A tribute to my mom, Gail Zimmerman.

Alphabetical foods

Ethan is in a letter of the week group, and this past week was F, so we had "frango frita" which was breaded, fried chicken fingers (I gorged myself) and fettuccine alfredo with chicken. This week is the letter G, so we'll have to make gimelli pasta with gouda cheese and garbanzo beans, with ginger snaps for dessert.

Half An Hour to Eat

Click To PlayEthan's never been a big eater. A nutritionist we talked to suggested we use a timer and give him a time limit to eat so he wouldn't dawdle. So far it's working!

The Circle of Security Project

I created a video for part of a class presentation. Most of my students give powerpoints. I thought, "Why not spend about 50 times more time and create a video?" But I've learned some things along the way. This is my first video in Quicktime, and I love the quality. I also used some internet videos and weaved them into my video for the first time. You can watch it and other videos here.

Joshua's first steps

Click To Play

Joshua Zimmerman, 1 year old

Too Lovely

I lay Ethan on the carpet, lay on top of him, and say "I hold you, hug you, love you, kiss you." He grunts under my weight and complains, "You're too lovely, Papai."

Ethan and Joshua in Auburn, WA